Life #1: Events and Obsessions.

At the time of writing, it's 2 am. I'm sitting here with nothing good to do. Kind of missing the time when the only thing we were doing at 2 am was dreaming. Dreaming about good things we want. Girls, dreaming about me... Hahaha, okay sorry.

Hey guys. It's been a month since I posted. I'm not going to lie and admit that I have an extremely boring life that motivates me for nothing but procrastination. I actually got as far as to write 2 blog posts but they were so lame that even Singh Sidhu wouldn't have laughed at those.

It has been a very very bad month for me. I had my birthday. A birthday that most of the people did not remember. A birthday that didn't bring much for my wallet. A birthday that I couldn't celebrate with friends. A birthday that marked the end of my teenage. Yes, I'm 20 years old now. It sucks to be like this. Although I don't feel any different than I did at nineteen, just that the word 'twenty' has a lot of cons attached to it. Like hitting on teenagers is a federal offence now. The world is so weird. I should probably try and get my birth certificate altered (Yeah, that can actually happen in Pakistan.) Though, I'm sure my parents will bash my head with a brick if I ever tell them that even in humour. They want me to be of my age but they won't let me do stuff that people of my age should do. Like drive. "People get killed in car accidents." MOM, MORE PEOPLE DIE SITTING AT HOME.

It is just one day before Eid (an Islamic festival) here in Pakistan. And yet it feels like nothing. After all why would someone get a cow when they can buy an iPhone 5S (Galaxy S4/Note 3 if you're an Android fanboy) for around the same price? Now before you get butthurt, I would like to clear that I'm not trying to make fun of religion. I'm just stating a fact that inflation has gone higher than your probable temper at me right now. On the plus side, we can expect that there would be no/less blood, rotting waste animal material on the roadsides anymore.

How I Met Your Mother has returned. This show is the reason why I'm obsessed with New York City. An apartment in Manhattan is all I want from life now (obviously a hot wife and cute kids living in it with me.) People question my love for NYC. How can one not like NYC? Hello? It's the "concrete jungles where dreams are made of, there's nothing you can't do." While talking to a friend, we started talking about Humans of New York (A Facebook journalism page that captures New Yorkers and writes captions of their words). I said if the guy from HONY ever approaches me and asks me what my caption should be, I'd tell him to write "Trust me, the girls are going to go mad in the comments of this picture." If you still have any doubts to my self-obsession and narcissism, I doubt your sanity. I really hope I make it there, one day. Now if you're a Muslim, say InshaAllah. If you're a Christian, say Amen. If you're a Jew, give me some money and contribute to the cause. I've heard Jews are super rich and stuff.

Oh, and I was trending in my city on Twitter. It was after an inter-city tweet-joke war. You know, like Manchester and London have derby, we have our own too. It's Karachi vs Lahore. And then the kids from Islamabad (Liverpool) spring in and Karachi and Lahore unite to own them. That's the best part about it all. But no matter how much we joke, we're still all Pakistanis and equal. Except that most of the Karachi has no load-shedding (electricity power cuts). But then Lahore gets all the hot girls (with bad accents, most of them). And Islamabad is scenic beauty. But tiny. It's like a park with houses in it.

If you make it to this point of the post, then trust me you really need to get a life. Because this is the most boring blog post anyone has ever written. Why would you even read it past the first paragraph?! Okay, no. Honestly I feel like I've lost my touch. I hope I get humorous and witty again. *Bursts into tears*

To everyone celebrating Eid, EID MUBARAKKK. Have amazing BBQs.

P.s. If that tweet up there made you wonder if I'm dating a 17 year old, then I'm not. She could be 15, 16, 18 or even 21. Why would I tell you? Jk, forever alone (email me).

Please don't hate me, please don't unfriend/unfollow me. I promise I'll try to come up with better stuff next time. I know you love me. I probably love you too.

Until next time, then. Ciao! :D

Love Aaj Kal.

Love Aaj Kal - Love These Days.

I was just sitting in the room with my family when one of my cousin's girlfriend called on my mom's phone which led to a very laughable session. Here's how it went (I've changed the names to hide identity.):

Girl: Salam Aunty I'm Anjali, Rahul's girlfriend. I wanted to meet Rahul so I was wondering if you could invite me over and call him to your house.
Mum: ...
Girl: He told me that we can meet this way, it's pretty hard for me to convince my parents to let me go to public places alone.
Mum: Beta, you're too young for all of this. You have so much time ahead of you. At this age, you don't fall in love. These are all jokes, you're gonna look back at this time and laugh at how stupid you were.
Girl: ...
Mum: Listen to what I say, let go of this and focus on your studies.
Girl: ...
Mum: And I'll talk to him about it, don't you worry.
Girl: Okay Aunty. That's fine. Allah Hafiz.
Mum: Allah Hafiz.

(Don't hate me for using Rahul-Anjali as an example. I am a cheesy person. And I love Bollywood. I'm sure most of you do too, quit hiding!)

All this conversation went on while me and my siblings sat there laughing, Dad however kept quiet and left the room. Soon after, as I texted a friend (yes, a friend!) of mine, I started smiling. Instantly mom looked at me and said "Looks like Ali's on with someone too." to which I responded "You wish it was only 'one'."

Do you remember the time when we were kids, like 10 years ago when the word love was mentioned and you'd "Haw!" your way out of it? Ever thought how did the society evolve so fast that these days being in a relationship and going on dates is such a common and socially accepted thing? I remember 5 years back my parents would give me looks if they found out I was talking to a girl, and now we casually talk about the ones we like with our them. Had my Dad done that, my Grandmother would probably hit him.

Everything's so common now that people fall in and out of love a hundred times. Commitments, relationships, flirtationships (My personal favorite. Just kidding. Or am I?), and what not. Love marriages have gotten really common, and even I'm in their favor. Reminds me of something I read years back "All your life you're taught not to talk to strangers, and then suddenly you're expected to sleep with one!" This sums it up better than anything else can. However, that's just my personal opinion. If it offends you, then you're an idiot. Just kidding, not gonna do the 'Or am I?' joke a third time in two posts..but I'm sure you're smarter than that.

I'm just going to wrap it up now with an extremely unnecessary ending note: Love Aaj Kal was a great movie. I have no idea why it got hated on so much.

P.s. Thank you all so much for the response on my first post, it was great to see so many views. Thanks for the comments and shares. Much love. Until next time then, Ciao! :D

*Insert a cool introductory title here*

Hi everyone.

My name is Ali, I'm 19 years old. After 2 years of lazying around I finally set up my blog with a little motivation from a few friends. Believe it or not the only reason I didn't blog until now was because I never knew what title should I have for it.

Most of you have already passed your first judgement at me by looking around at the style of blog I've created. It's true, such things speak volumes for us.
You probably looked at the black background and wondered that I'm an emotional teenager who's gonna do whiny posts on here. The red color further tells you I'm obsessed with blood and probably self-harm. White, red and black and along with that the absence of other colors proves that I hate my life.

Well, enough with the Sherlock-ing. I've only chosen the black color for my background because I'm... I'm Batman. Only joking (Or am I?). I'm nocturnal and nothing pleases the eye more at night than a black screen. The red is only there because I love-love Manchester United. It's an undying love, complete emotional attachment (Dear The One. If you're reading this, you better start loving my team already). I'm somehow obsessed with blood because I love the idea of Vampirism, I mean who wouldn't want to be immortal, be able to compel people and be able to run around at supersonic speeds? And by vampires I totally mean Vampires, and not fairies such as Edward Cullen. I've kept the blog really simple because I love minimalism, that is one reason why I prefer iPhones and Windows Phones over Androids (Yeah, you'll get tons of technological references in all my blogs). In the same way if you're a girl and you apply loads of makeup, I give you a thumbs down right now (Please don't let this affect your decision of following my blog, because I know you want to. You know you want to.)

If I had to sum up myself in a few words, here are some great quotes to tell exactly what I am:

• Charlie: Because she's a self-centered, manipulative, narcissist.
  Alan: So are you.
  Charlie: Hello?
• Brandt: Is that all you've got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?
  Tony Stark: Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography.

Yes, I'm a self-obsessed person. I love myself more than anyone else ever can (NOT forever aloneness, it just keeps me safe from getting hurt).

So yeah, that's me. That's the Ali Yousuf that you just got to know, or the AliiYousuf you've known from Twitter before. You'll be hearing a lot from me, trust me, I love talking. By the end of this post, I already have fans. "I love you too, random citizen!"

(Special thanks to this lovely girl, Fareeha for helping me set up this blog. She has an amazing blog herself, be sure to check it out. You'll love it. Furree's Blog)

Until next time then, Ciao. :D