Tuesday, 15 October 2013

Life #1: Events and Obsessions.

At the time of writing, it's 2 am. I'm sitting here with nothing good to do. Kind of missing the time when the only thing we were doing at 2 am was dreaming. Dreaming about good things we want. Girls, dreaming about me... Hahaha, okay sorry.

Hey guys. It's been a month since I posted. I'm not going to lie and admit that I have an extremely boring life that motivates me for nothing but procrastination. I actually got as far as to write 2 blog posts but they were so lame that even Singh Sidhu wouldn't have laughed at those.

It has been a very very bad month for me. I had my birthday. A birthday that most of the people did not remember. A birthday that didn't bring much for my wallet. A birthday that I couldn't celebrate with friends. A birthday that marked the end of my teenage. Yes, I'm 20 years old now. It sucks to be like this. Although I don't feel any different than I did at nineteen, just that the word 'twenty' has a lot of cons attached to it. Like hitting on teenagers is a federal offence now. The world is so weird. I should probably try and get my birth certificate altered (Yeah, that can actually happen in Pakistan.) Though, I'm sure my parents will bash my head with a brick if I ever tell them that even in humour. They want me to be of my age but they won't let me do stuff that people of my age should do. Like drive. "People get killed in car accidents." MOM, MORE PEOPLE DIE SITTING AT HOME.

It is just one day before Eid (an Islamic festival) here in Pakistan. And yet it feels like nothing. After all why would someone get a cow when they can buy an iPhone 5S (Galaxy S4/Note 3 if you're an Android fanboy) for around the same price? Now before you get butthurt, I would like to clear that I'm not trying to make fun of religion. I'm just stating a fact that inflation has gone higher than your probable temper at me right now. On the plus side, we can expect that there would be no/less blood, rotting waste animal material on the roadsides anymore.

How I Met Your Mother has returned. This show is the reason why I'm obsessed with New York City. An apartment in Manhattan is all I want from life now (obviously a hot wife and cute kids living in it with me.) People question my love for NYC. How can one not like NYC? Hello? It's the "concrete jungles where dreams are made of, there's nothing you can't do." While talking to a friend, we started talking about Humans of New York (A Facebook journalism page that captures New Yorkers and writes captions of their words). I said if the guy from HONY ever approaches me and asks me what my caption should be, I'd tell him to write "Trust me, the girls are going to go mad in the comments of this picture." If you still have any doubts to my self-obsession and narcissism, I doubt your sanity. I really hope I make it there, one day. Now if you're a Muslim, say InshaAllah. If you're a Christian, say Amen. If you're a Jew, give me some money and contribute to the cause. I've heard Jews are super rich and stuff.

Oh, and I was trending in my city on Twitter. It was after an inter-city tweet-joke war. You know, like Manchester and London have derby, we have our own too. It's Karachi vs Lahore. And then the kids from Islamabad (Liverpool) spring in and Karachi and Lahore unite to own them. That's the best part about it all. But no matter how much we joke, we're still all Pakistanis and equal. Except that most of the Karachi has no load-shedding (electricity power cuts). But then Lahore gets all the hot girls (with bad accents, most of them). And Islamabad is scenic beauty. But tiny. It's like a park with houses in it.

If you make it to this point of the post, then trust me you really need to get a life. Because this is the most boring blog post anyone has ever written. Why would you even read it past the first paragraph?! Okay, no. Honestly I feel like I've lost my touch. I hope I get humorous and witty again. *Bursts into tears*

To everyone celebrating Eid, EID MUBARAKKK. Have amazing BBQs.

P.s. If that tweet up there made you wonder if I'm dating a 17 year old, then I'm not. She could be 15, 16, 18 or even 21. Why would I tell you? Jk, forever alone (email me).

Please don't hate me, please don't unfriend/unfollow me. I promise I'll try to come up with better stuff next time. I know you love me. I probably love you too.

Until next time, then. Ciao! :D